A lone clown, dressed in red suspenders, ambles up to the window of the laundromat at Princeton and Central and  inflates a whoopie cushion.  The clientele are mildly amused, but more focused on the cleansing of their intimate apparel, when suddenly another clowns joins the first: this one wears a brightly striped coat, and juggles a set of colorful balls.  A third clown approaches: blonde, red-frocked and turning cartwheels and walkovers down the street.  Then a fourth clown appears, a fifth, a sixth, until a zany circus of instruments, acrobatics and absurdity accumulates in front of the laundromat, a miniature spectacle for the entertainment of the spectators on the other side of the window. 

Just then, from down the road, comes the roar of an angry mob.  Dozens of irate citizens come running at the clown troupe wielding pillows, stuffed animals, inflatable pool toys, boxing gloves... "Down with clowns!" they cry, as they pummel the innocent clowns to the ground.  The attackers run off to the east, victorious, leaving the sidewalk strewn with clown bodies plastered to the pavement.

The clowns stagger to their feet.  They stumble around, bewildered, brush themselves off, and then approach the laundromat with small, white business cards that they stick to the window:

"The Street Theatre Brigade Was Here".

The clowns scamper and skip down the road, waving farewell to the disoriented witnesses of the incident.  Sources report a similar occurence just moments later at the Panda Express on Girard, only this time, one clown manages to escape the attack, leading a wild clown chase up Central towards the Nob Hill Bar & Grill.  Bystanders at Kelly's, Flying Star, Scalo and Geckos all reported having witnessed identically brutal and bizaare clown attacks early last Friday evening.  Did you?